


Studs

by Tashilover



Category: Hot Guy P.I. (Webcomic)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tashilover/pseuds/Tashilover
Summary: There were three unique facts Nando knew about Schmidt.A simple Hot Guy P.I. fic
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Studs

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: for non-descriptive body horror

There were three unique facts Nando knew about Schmidt.

-The man had no taste buds. He once watched Schmidt absentmindedly pour half of a saltshaker into his morning coffee and didn't so much as _wince_ when he drank it. Either his tongue was dead or it was some kind of power move.

-He was stupidly amazing at math. Hanging on Schmidt's walls were certificates from college math competitions. Just for fun, Nando grabbed a handful of coins, threw them in the air, and yelled _"COUNT 'EM!"_ Before the first coin even struck the ground, Nando nonchalantly said, "Two dollars and a fifty-three cents. Why did you throw them, it would've been easier if you held them out."

-Lastly, He didn't like knives, needles, pins, hooks, or even the way the thin graphite came out of mechanical pencils. The mere sight of it all gave him the _heebie_ - _jeebies_.

"Really?" Nando asked when Schmidt admitted this to him. "But your ears are pierced."

Schmidt touched his lobe, briefly playing with the black stud. "Oh. This is different."

"Different how?"

"I was thirteen when I got my ears pierced. Long before my phobia kicked in."

"Oh? This sounds like an interesting story, do tell."

"About my piercing party?"

"About when your phobia kicked in, dummy."

"Oh..." Schmidt took a long sip of his double-mocha espresso caramel coffee and said, "When I was fifteen... I fell down upon a needle."

Nando waited. _"And...?"_

"And that's it," said Schmidt. He shrugged. "It was gross and terrifying and it put me off from sharp things forever. My earrings are the only things I can tolerate these days. Sorry, it's not a great story, I know."

"Hmmm... I supposed I shouldn't have expected much. I have a phobia of snakes and that's all thanks to a National Geographic episode on the anaconda. I was seven. I had nightmares for _weeks_."

"I'm glad you agree," said Schmidt. He then continued drinking his overly-sugared coffee and that was the end of the conversation.

Nando tapped his hands on the steering wheel needlessly. He stared out across the high school parking lot, watching as dozens of students came running out, free for the day. He knew he should be patient. Nadia liked to talk with friends for a few minutes before coming out.

But holy _hell_ , he was dying for a burger. It felt like his stomach had bottomed out, turning into a black hole, sucking everything within. If Nadia didn't come out soon, he was going to start eating the leather from his steering wheel.

After a few more minutes of agonizing torture, Nadia appeared from the school doors. Nando sat up straight as she made her way across the parking lot towards the car.

"Hey kiddo," Nando greeted once she climbed in. "So glad to see you. I'm really hungry right now, what do you say to a couple of burger and fries?"

Nadia clicked on her seat belt and then gave him a disapproving look. "Dad, you're supposed to keeping an eye on your cholesterol."

"I know, I know."

"The doctors told you this only last week."

"I know, I know."

"We have food at home-"

"What will it take for you not to guilt-tripe me here?"

A sinister look spread across Nadia's face. "Let's say... ten dollars-"

"I only have a credit card on me."

She groaned. "Oh. Okay, then just give me a cool fact about Mr. Schmidt."

Nando glanced at her and she looked away quickly, a light blush blooming on her cheeks. Nando grinned. Might as well indulge her this one time.

"That's it?" He started up the car and turned to pull out. "Well... he's really good at math."

"I said a _cool_ fact."

"Math's not cool? Um... He has no taste buds. I think. I never confirmed, but I'm pretty sure."

"Not a fact then."

"Argh..." He paused for a moment, his attention drawn to the traffic. Once he got out of the school parking lot and onto the main road he said, "He has a fear of sharp objects."

At the corner of his eye, Nando could see Nadia squirm uncomfortably. "Yeah, I guess he would."

Nando frowned. "He would? What do you mean by that?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Um... it's probably better if I showed you." She pulled out her phone from her bag and started googling something.

Nando had to wait till they were stopped at a red light for Nadia pass over her phone. On the screen was a news article dating back fifteen years ago.

_TEEN BOY LOSES EYE TO INFECTED NEEDLE_

_Though thanks to Mayor Jules for enforcing stricter anti-pollution laws, trash and debris still find ways to hurt the local citizens. Yesterday around 1PM, a fifteen year old boy was walking back from school with his friends. They were roughhousing when the boy was suddenly pushed too hard and fell. A discarded insulin syringe was sticking up from the ground and pierced the boy in the eye. Emergency services were called and he was rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately after seven hours of surgery, the eye was unable to be saved._

A loud car honk startled Nando to look up from the phone. The light had turned green. He quickly shoved the phone back into Nadia's hands and pressed on the gas. He swallowed. "How... did you find this out? Did he tell you this?" _Before he told me?_

Nadia shook her head. "No... I... um... googled Mr. Schmidt."

Several thoughts rendered Nando silent for a moment. First he felt the urge to chastise Nadia for googling people. It was a bad habit she had, and she got in trouble last year when she discovered a teacher's forgotten MySpace account and found inappropriate pictures of them. Secondly he wondered how did she know this was Schmidt? There was no name, no description of the boy, nor was the article from this state. Maybe Nadia got it wrong.

Thirdly, Nando realized he wasn't hungry anymore. A thick piece of lead sat in his stomach, turning it sour.

He swallowed. "How do you even know it's even him? I didn't see a name."

"There's no name cause he was a minor at the time. But... _this_ article was written when he was an adult."

This time Nadia held up her phone, showing off the headline.

MAN RECEIVES EYE TRANSPLANT AFTER TEENAGE ACCIDENT

Nadia put her phone away. "That's how I found out. I understand why he'd be afraid of needles and sharp objects. After all that, I would be too."

"Yeah," Nando said as he dove past the burger place, not bothering to give it a second glance. "Me too."

Come Monday morning, Nando wasn't sure if he should tell Schmidt about what he knew. Was it considered a breach of privacy? It wasn't like Nando was specifically looking for those articles. Would he be putting Schmidt in an uncomfortable situation by bringing up old trauma? Were their relationship even at a point they could talk about this?

The door to the office opened and Schmidt walked in, bearing another coffee that was probably more sugar than joe. He was staring down at his phone, scrolling through something. "Morning," he said.

"Morning," Nando said back. He immediately tried to study Schmidt's eyes but it was hard with the man looking down. Was there a scar Nando never noticed before? Were his eyes different colors? Was he favoring one side? "Hey."

Schmidt looked up from his phone to him. "Yeah?"

_I know about your eye. What was it like? Was there a lot of blood? How much did it hurt? Does it hurt now? When you blink? Is that why you're always wearing sunglasses? Is that why you need me to drive you, because legally you're not allowed or is it because-_

Nando shook his head, stopping his mental train of intrusive questions.

 _What am I doing,_ he thought to himself. It wasn't like him to obsess over something that wasn't even his damn business. If Schmidt wanted to tell him, he would.

Schmdit was still waiting. "Uh... you got something to say?"

Nando looked up to him. He smiled. "So tell me about this piercing party of yours."


End file.
